I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
