How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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