we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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