omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
