I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
