Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't deserve a penis
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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