I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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