Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
