I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
