Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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