I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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