I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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