I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
