You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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