I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
