seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
