i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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