i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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