god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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