so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
