Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
hell yes lets make some ravioli
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
