Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize