Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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