it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
