i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think my vagina is haunted
Small penises have feelings too.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
