Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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