Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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