Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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