margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
