I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
