Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
