Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
So many bounce houses so little time
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
