You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
