Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
