coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
