the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
