i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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