are you so shy because you have an std?
only if we run a train.
done.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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