Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
