we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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