Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Randomize
