I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
