youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
