dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
