i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
