it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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