Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
