Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
