we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
