Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
