Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
