She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
