Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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