shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
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Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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