Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
