It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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