Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
