He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
