I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
