I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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