So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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