loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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