I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
