if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize