So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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