i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We need to feng shui this bitch.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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