oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize