she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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