found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
