I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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