Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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